“Whenever I talk, most of what I say gets placed in my husband’s mental – junk file.” “My husband has his own way of doing things and what I say doesn’t seem to have much weight”. “It has been a long time since my husband listened to what I had to say”. “Honestly, I don’t think my husband ever listens”. “Most of the time I feel so misunderstood ‘cause my husband doesn’t listen”.
Statements like these among married woman are not all that uncommon. Sadly, if we are not careful, we will begin to think, convince ourselves, these statements are utterly true and we can set in our heart their validity.
I have only been married a meager 15 years but, I have learned a few very important absolutes about listening and hearing. First, listening and hearing are not the same. We don’t listen to everything we hear and we don’t hear everything we listened to. (For instance, have you ever listened to an orchestra and didn’t hear the cello?)
Secondly, just because I am talking loudly, does not ensure my husband can “hear” me better. Matter -of- fact, I have come to realize that if there is ever a time when my husband can hear me the least is when I’m talking (yes….I called it talking) the loudest. I found out early on that my husband can hear very well. Ironically, his ability to hear seems to lessen as my volume increases.
Thirdly, my husband (and probably yours also) can hear the most when words are not being used at all. It is in these times I think about God calling us wives to have an incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit <1Peter 3:4>. In as much, God shares with us that a gently and quiet spirit is so potent that even if your husband disobey the Christian message, “they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live…<1Peter 3:1>”
God providing you and me with the perfect certainty of a quiet spirited wife speaking volumes.
It is noted, a gently and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God and have been interwoven into the character of the Godly women of old. How much more shall we learn from these women in loving the men we so desperately want to listen and hear our every word.
~ God’s Truth through Marriage ~