The ladies at “TimeOut” spent their last gathering of 2013, discussing the tough questions waiting to be pulled from the “TimeOut” Talk box.
Q. What do I do when I am in a marriage that has taken a turn for the worst? Q. How do I continue in a marriage when it seems the love I am giving is not being reciprocated? Q. What if I simply do not like him (my husband) anymore?
If only there were simple answers to these not so simple questions. These questions are far more complex and far more heart wrenching than what meets the eye. Each and every marriage has found itself in one of these questions at one time or another. So, we are not going to take them lightly. However, we are going to build around them, opposed to letting them stand alone.
Regardless to what we are feeling today – at this very moment, we must first admit, our marriages could not have simply taken a turn. Our marriages were not blissful one day, and doomed the next. We were not joyfully skipping down “Happy Street” and suddenly made a wrong right turn on to “Trouble Lane”. Chances are, there was a progression. It is a possibility, however, that while going down Happy Street we may not have been as attentive as we should have been. We may have spent too much time looking out the window, enjoying the scenery, having small talk, and letting the wind blow through our hair, never realizing we were slowly cruising down the wrong lane. Unexpectedly, not until we made that right turn, did we realize we were someplace we didn’t want to be.
Without question, our culture has grained in our senses, “If it Feels Good, Do It”, “You Do You”, and “You Deserve Better”. We have been told time and time again, it is about our self-esteem, our self-image, and our self-worth. So, by default, we usually believe we deserve better. We believe we deserve better than what we have and we deserve more than what we are getting. This type of self – thinking can create doom in any marriage and keep us on “Trouble Lane”.
So now that we (our marriages) are wandering down a street we know has No Outlet, what are some things that can be done to get our marriages back on the right path?
(1.) Relinquish control. – Hand over your husband and your marriage to God. Allow God to have complete control to work in your marriage any way He deems fitting.
(2.) Pray. – Pray for restoration – repair/renewal/rebuilding – in your relationship with your husband. Ask that your love for him will abound more and more, with knowledge. Petition God to bend your heart toward the things HE cares for. This will, in turn, bend your heart toward the cares for your husband and for God’s care for him. 2Corinthians 13:9, Philippians 1:9
(3.) Constrain your thoughts to a new process. Change your thinking! It is very easy to revisit your husband’s weaknesses and mistakes. Don’t do this. Think on things that will uplift your husband and your marriage. Renewed thinking helps produce renewed thoughts, renewed thoughts help produce renewed behaviors. Romans 12:2
(4.) Commit to surrounding yourself with married woman who can strengthen and encourage you. Circle yourself with women who believe God, women who trust God and women who are depending on God for their marriages to be healthy and thriving, just as you are.
With Love through HIM,