Ten Things

10 ThingsI’m always amazed by the things life teaches. Often times it’s something someone tried to tell us, share with us, or even warn us about. There may be a book written on it, a documentary advising of it, or even a reality show exploiting it.  Ironically, it seems we find more value in experiencing life’s lessons on our own, rather than making applicable notes of the bloops & blunders of others. I once read a quote, “A smart woman makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise woman finds a smart woman and learns from her how to avoid the mistake altogether.

Time and time again, right when you least expect it, out of nowhere, is a teachable moment. So, here are ten things God has taught me about marriage and my husband.

  • The more thankful I become of the things my husband does well— the less resentful I am of the things he does not.
  • My husband is totally incapable of telepathy! If I don’t tell him directly what I need or want, he will not know.
  • Obsessing over my husband’s weaknesses, will not make them go away.
  • My husband’s past hurts will inevitably show up in his present responses. I am to do my best to recognize them and be gentle toward him.
  • Often, I bask in the lengthy extensions of grace God shows me in my missteps and imperfections; God wants me to extend that same measure of grace toward my husband.
  • The more I respect and affirm my husband, the more vulnerable he is to change.
  • Respecting my husband comes with the position of “Husband”. God did not provide me with any additional qualifiers. ~ Ephesians 5:33 – Wives, respect your husbands.
  • The sooner I die to all the unrealistic expectations of marriage and of my husband, the sooner my husband is able to be free of trying to live up to them.
  • My husband is not responsible to be my ‘everything’. That is why God has given me great girlfriends who have no problem spending an entire Saturday at garage sales.
  • The more I focus on the wife my husband needs and the woman God wants me to be, the flaws of my husband become less and less apparent.

Oh’ and one more thing…..

  • There was never any real need for me to sarcastically tell my husband, “I am not your mother!” …….. He was fully aware of that fact when he married me.

Thought to Ponder

Whenever I get a chance to talk with women, be it at a speaking engagement or during our TimeOut time at the local coffee shop; my message is always to promote a work toward cultivating a tender marriage that starts in the heart and mind of The Wife. No matter the length of your marriage, it is without doubt that God has also taught you a marriage life lesson. Take a minute to think of one. Then share it with us. Your lesson may just be what another wife needs to hear.

With Love,

charmaine signature (2)

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