Close your eyes…. Imagine yourself quietly floating beach side; comfortably lying on a Serta Perfect inflatable raft. The sun lightly covering your body like the ideal blanket while the ocean waves calmly splash with just enough force to relax your thoughts. All you can think is how you have never been so at peace; so hassle-free. In your mind, life is good. Just as you begin to doze off, you hear an unrecognizable thump that rocks you into consciousness. With a squint on your face, you try to focus on the tan streak at a distance. Suddenly you realize, that textured looking tan streak is the beach shore. Without notice, you’ve drifted …
The date night was going just as Dave had planned. He and Ann were celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary and Dave was the single mastermind behind the anticipated romantic evening. With detailed intention, Dave planned to have a single rose delivered to their table ten times throughout the date. Each rose representing the beauty of each year since their wedding day. With a prepared talk to accompany each rose, Dave was well on his way to wooing his bride just as he did in their earlier years. Dave felt proud in his actions. By the end of dinner, Ann found herself emotionally tossed. Before arriving home that night, Ann tells Dave, “This relationship isn’t working, I’m not in love with you anymore.”
“I thought I was doing great as a husband… I would have said to you that on a scale of 1 to 10, my marriage is probably a 10. If not a 10, it’s a 9.8, and I guarantee you my wife would agree.”
“And I would have said we’re a 1.0, maybe like a 0.5, and I think he was totally clueless… which made me even more angry, because I’m thinking, how do you not know how bad we’re doing?”
Just like quietly floating beachside, couples have easily dozed off in their marriages; believing things are peaceful, only to find them-selves later squinting to see a relationship that was once clearly visible. Generally, there are no loud thumps to let you know you are moving in the wrong direction. There is no traffic sign to tell you to make a U-Turn. Nor will you receive a yellow slip in the mail letting you know that soon; the marriage will be “turned off”.
Thought to ponder
Drifting is usually subtle.
It brings with it a calm illusion that everything is fine; a delusional misconception of peace, tranquility and freedom…. all while cuddling you closer and closer to isolation; …. Which eventually destroys your relationship.
Is your marriage …. drifting?