Did You Know?

Every year, over 50% of families are torn apart because of issues that lead to divorce. For most women, intervention, support and counseling are the only ways they are able Divorce

to rebuild that which has been weakened. Helping these women come with a great sacrifice of time, while counseling and support come at an even greater expense.

 help-buttonWe Need Your Help to Make a Difference in the Life of a Woman!

Join CharMaine & the ladies of TimeOut at our 2016 Breakfast Fundraiser Auction @ Spazio Westport on Saturday July 16, 2016 * 9:am til noon.

The success of our mission is dependent on those who understand the need for women to have necessary aid, resources and support.Time Out! 036 (640x425) - Copy

Encouragement, Hope and Help; One Woman to Another

Remember, proceeds from every ticket purchased will go to help women in need of personal or marriage counseling.

Tickets on Sale Now $15.50

Click HERE to Register


Who is She?

Queen you say?  Yes, I know her.  She is a stand out.  I see her going about, with her unspoken beauty.  That quiet woman, with the hidden strength of a warrior and stamina that never perishes.  She, who has the wisdom to rule a nation and the forbearance to withstand a drought.  She, who has the gift to nourish those around her and the nerve to fight for that which is most important: her house, her kingdom, her people, her integrity, and her king.  There she is, standing in her queen attire that stylishly complements her value – and displays her uncompromising worth.  Her, the Queen – who has the obvious courage to trust, love and wait.  She, the one whose deeper beauty is revealed by her kind words, her uplifting thoughts and willingness to listen.  She, the one who was created to excel in a role filled with intentional purpose: a purpose that enriches those around her, gives importance to order, and arouses others to be better – to be more – to be radiant – to be strong – to be resilient.

Oh’ no, she is not weak, feeble or fragile.  She is not a slave to man, nor is she maid service.  She is not subservient in significance, oppressed by the culture, nor negated by nay-sayers.  She is not cheap, nor is she destitute.

Crown

She is the one whose influence can change a mind, alter a plan, transform a home, revise a decision, save a marriage, refresh a heart, restore a relationship, and turn the world upside down.  < Genesis 3:6>   She, as the Lord intended – is naturally gifted to make a difference.

Who is she, really?

She is giver, she is nurturer, she is helper, she is queen, and she is Wife.

Firm Decision to Do Something

I’ve never been a big celebrator of the New Year.  Not in the traditional sense anyway. The party before midnight was never one that held my attention.  Forcing myself to stay alert, pleasantly socializing without yawning and trying my best not to turn into “Grumpy” was typically my main party focus.  Yet, without delay, by ten o’clock p.m., I would begin to hear the words of the illusionists whispering in my ear, “You’re getting sleeeeeepy”.  All- nighters have never been my strong suite.  But no matter how the year ends, the very next morning is the beginning of anew.  Resolution resolve…..

When I originally began “TimeOut” I can honestly say my focus was not centered on how I could be of help.  Every month I would attend the gatherings with my two closest friends, hoping that by some stretch of the imagination, me getting time away would invigorate me to become more of what God was looking for in a woman, a helper, a wife.  I was sure having time away from the mundane would help me keep myself on track, regroup when necessary, and regain focus if needed.  We have all heard it said time and time again, that every couple needs time apart, right?  Believing that taking a life pause is a welcomed additive to any routine, a short breather is just what every couple needs in order for there to be a healthy balance.  This concept is true in theory.  But, what I soon discovered was; getting time away is nice.  But, by no means does getting away to relax on the beach help me to become a better swimmer.  To become a better swimmer, I need to use my time at the beach, building the skills it would take to enhance my swimming.

Group Swim

Just the same, if I am to become a true woman after God’s own heart, a committed companion to my king who pursued me, a sweet help to the man who holds the responsibility to lead, a wife who “does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life” < Proverbs 31:12>,   I will need to use my time away from my husband as a refresher in building the skills that will enhance my marriage.

Thought to Ponder

As we begin this year with intentional time away, let us firmly embrace the resolution to discover and live out God’s plan for us as Wife.

Next Wives Gathering – January 29, 2016. See you there!! ~ CharMaine

 

Married the wrong person….

wrong person2

“I have no way of knowing whether or not (you) married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I’ll be the first to admit that it is possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.” ~ Zig Ziglar, Courtship After Marriage

Thought to ponder

Did your husband marry the right woman? Or the right kind of woman?

Would your husband agree with your answer?

Let’s talk soon,

charmaine signature (2)

Ministry Misconstrued

The weather had finally changed.  It was now cool enough outside to justify having a tall Pumpkin Spice mocha with whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkles – extra hot.  Each lady entered the coffee shop, placed her order, and then eagerly took a seat.  Cups in hand, greetings and hugs, we all gathered in our usual circle.  But this time, we were without our usual agenda.  Tonight, there would be no diagram at all.  No forethought, no preparation, no planning, just impromptu discussion.  This is our Table Talk.  Anything put on the ‘table’ is open to be talked about.

men shoes

After hearing all the challenges each wife had with the prior months Wives Challenge, we quickly learned that the idea of “ministry” has been slightly misconstrued and somewhat commercialized. For years, ministry has been advertised with slogans, building signs, billboards, websites, and events. There is an excess of posters on the side of buses, stickers on cars, and t-shirts with catchy sayings. We recognize ministry when there are water wells to be dug, shoe boxes to be filled or can goods to be collected. Ministry typically looks familiar when feeding the homeless, visiting the hospital, or helping orphans in a poverty-stricken country. Expectantly, ministry is most easily detected within the church – when teaching a class, singing in the choir, leading praise or preaching from the pulpit.

Sadly, ministry has been tagged with its own invisible measures. The word ministry derived from the word minister. And although ministry has been synonymous with prestige and pious customs, it can – just as easily – be ignored when in its humblest form. Minister is defined as: (a) to give service, care, or aid; attend, as to wants or necessities: (b) to contribute, as to comfort or happiness. Simply put, ministry is from a Greek word meaning ‘to serve’.

 As shared during Table Talk; with lightheartedness and sure conviction, we can all smile inwardly as we grasp our many areas of wife “ministry’.

  • The Shoe Ministry – occurs every time you stumble over your husbands shoes in the middle of the floor and you pick them up to place them back into the closet.
  • The Cooking Ministry – when he (and the kids) is hungry, yet all the food in the freezer is frozen.
  • The Toothpaste Ministry – as you wipe the blobs of paste out of the sink and search the counter for the cap.Toothpaste
  • The Administrator Ministry – when he calls and ask you to do that one thing he could have done before he left the house.
  • The Pantry & Drawer Door Ministry – that you close (again) from the last time your husband retrieved something from it.
  • The Paper Stack Ministry – that you sort and place in the file folders after removing the ten piles your husband left on the dining room table.
  • The Bath Towel Ministry – which you pick-up off the floor as you make your way to the vanity.
  • The Planner Ministry – when you carefully add the month’s events to the family wall calendar and your husband calls you to ask what is the plan is for the day.
  • The Sub Ministry – when your husband was sure he could do it, now you need to do it for him.
  • The Shopping Ministry – when you have to make a special trip to the store for fruit, ‘cause your husband bought two boxes of banana flavored Twinkies.

Thought to ponder:

As a wife, we have been given our own special ministry, with our own special audience. Embrace it.  “Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it.”

< Colossians 4:17>

 

 

“Friends” Reconsidered …

Thanks to whiz kid like creativity and boundless technical savviness, being in-the-know has become easier than ever before.  Reaching out or being reached is now at the touch of a button.  With one click, you can have “Friends” by the hundreds or even thousands; those who are near and those who are not.  It is as simple as sending a request.  In times past, this was equivalent to, “How about we hang out some time?”  Today, this once full-of-thought offer comes without any visual expressions to infer.  Nothing to interpret prior to an accepted response, no time spent to confirm common interest, and little concern of the old fashion referral process.  Yet, once you are “Accepted”, you are immediately in the Circle of Know.

Yes, it is worthwhile to stay in touch and keep connected.  Life happenings that would otherwise be missed are now easily accessible for all to view.  The wedding of your cousin, your sister’s trip to Alaska, your best friend’s daughter’s first day of school, college graduations, Senior Prom, Homecoming, acceptance to medical school, and the much anticipated – we are pregnant – announcements.  With ease, everyone accepted as “Friend” readily appears in the scrollable news feed. Guard our heart

It is here – this scrollable place subtly alluded to as benign, that you are able to peak into the hearts and minds of everyone you have listed as “Friend”.  With freedom of speech and personal permission practiced as choice, confidence in expression is overly apparent.  There are no boundaries to uphold.  Limitations are endless and margins are wide.  Each “Friend” tagged under their own individualized headline, comment, story, bleep or outburst.  Whatever the yearning, thought, concern, or desire, – it is here – that it is revealed without restriction, in the scrollable news feed.

It is because of these freedoms: casually scrolling through the news feed is no longer a thoughtless luxury.  In a matter of seconds, without any warning, we can be subjected to the depraved whims of those we have enlisted as “Friend”.  At times, we are violated in our thoughts, dishonored in our morals and disrespected in our person. We naively accept with unknowing consent whatever our “Friends” have deemed permissible.

NOTICE: Being in the Circle of Know must be done with absolute caution. It is absolutely necessary that we consciously scroll through with guarded eyes and a pre-determined standard.

Thought to Ponder:

Iron

God has given instruction, “Watch over your heart with all diligence…for from it flow the issues of life” <Proverbs 4: 22-24>.  Just as iron sharpens iron <Proverbs 27:17>, so friends sharpen the minds of each other.

 May we find a commendable purpose in our relationships with those we allow in our – news feed – and consider as “Friends”.

******************************************

Next TO gathering is Friday October 30th. See you there!

charmaine signature (2)

H.O.T.

She stood before the congregation as the minority, with her blond hair, brown eyes and pale skin.  She was the daughter of a Pastor, mom of three, married to an Italian man whose cultural history was different than her own. Her message was titled Serving without Sinking, but as she shared tidbits of her own story, I could hear commonalities.  She compassionately stated how embarrassed she was of her history and how the blatant unrest in our nation stirred-up very meaningful conversation between her, her family, friends and colleagues.  During these newly addressed conversations, she realized – we (people in general) often only give out as much information as we believe necessary. That is when I found myself reflecting. It was not long after, that I also found myself in agreement. It is true; we seldom go beyond the surface in our sharing.  We are very careful of only letting people know what we desire them to know. We usually – more often than not- give just enough. We rarely give our listener the true depth of who we are, the details of how we became the person we have become, or the density of what we believe.

Sadly, no one is exempt of this type of half-handed disclosure. We cover all our relationships with the same carefulness. We delegate according to what is the most safe and self-preserving. We shuffle out specifics with ourselves in mind. Sharing what we deem glorious, yet, holding on to our deepest disappointments, far-flung failures, and despairing downpours. Our walls of protection are usually far above our heads; limiting our view of others, as well as, limiting others view of us.

One of the things I like most about the Bible is that it is unedited.  God did us a great justice by allowing us to know the heart stones of many we would consider as heroes. We get to see David in every hue possible. God shares with us David’s bad choices and bad behaviors, as well as, his rightful remorse and deep pleas for forgiveness. We are privy to David’s life: good and bad.  From the days of David’s youth, until his death; the life of David is HOT – Honest for critique, Open for assessment and Transparent to all willing to live and learn from it.

As I climb over the walls in my own life, I look out and I can see beyond the surface. I see cracks and crevices where meaningful conversations can and should be had. Conversations no longer sealed for dread of criticism or guarded for protection. No holding on for safety or fear of falling, and no fear of hitting bottom.

I wonder? …What better our relationships would be if they were all gently laid on the principles of HOT.HOT