The Wrong Person…

“I have no way of knowing whether or not (you) married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I’ll be the first to admit that it is possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you married the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.” ~ Zig Ziglar, Courtship After Marriage

Thought to ponder

Did your husband marry the right person?

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Sabbath Resting

I do not recall ever hearing much complaint.  It was not unusual.  This was simply how things were.  Everyone unwittingly adapted to what was the norm.  We were all accustomed to the force of the still quiet.  Had there been any chaos in the days preceding, it too would soon be forced to comply.  The early morning sunrise seemed to have an invisible bell that quietly rang through the air without being seen.  There was no real indicator it was there, but somehow we were all certain that it was.  It was indescribable; a strange conflicting clash between humdrum and happy.

Everyone knew, if there was anything deemed necessary, it would have had to be pre-planned.  If anything was needing to be bought, brought, cooked, ordered, delivered, fixed, repaired, towed or included – it would  have to be done in advance or not at all.

 Because on Sunday, rest was the unspoken requirement; the day all were forced (or expected) to be still.

There would be families gathered together for dinner, communion and community.  There were Believers assembled together to commemorate the resurrection of Christ.  There were planned outings with one another, purely to build relationships and closeness.

There was time for worship.

Today, Sunday’s are inconspicuously stapled to the rest of the days of the week.  It is no longer its own special day, with its own special place.  Sunday’s have conformed.  There is no longer a distinct difference when compared.  For many, it has become a catch-all.  Any undertaking that was unable to be pressed into the prior six days can now be scheduled on the seventh.

In Exodus, the Lord commanded the Israelites against this very concept.  “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.  You are to labor six days and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath to the Lord your God.  You must not do any work …..”

To not do any work is an idea many of us cannot comprehend.  Often, we find it difficult to give up our own agendas, our scheduled programs or our plans.

Like the Israelites, when they were enslaved, we too have been groomed to do all you can; to labor without ceasing.  That to stop and rest gives a notion of being lazy or slothful.  That to be idle is unproductive and a waste of valuable “to do” time.  That there is always something to do and you must always be doing something.

For those of us who are in Christ, we are not required to keep the ceremonial law of the Sabbath Day. <Hebrews 8, Galatians 4:10, Colossians 2:16>.  Yet, the principal the Lord provides through the Sabbath is a very practical model to the benefit of us all.  The need to stop and rest was crucial for them then and advantageous for us now.

Thought to Ponder:

If we are ever to profit from the principles provided through the Sabbath, we must first intentionally add Sabbath Rest – Sabbath Margin – Sabbath Time to our days.  “Remember, you were a slave in the land of Egypt, but the Lord your God brought you out ….” <Deut. 5:12-15>

You are now free ….to take some time to rest…. in your acknowledgement of Him.

Who is She?

Queen you say?  Yes, I know her.  She is a stand out.  I see her going about, with her unspoken beauty.  That quiet woman, with the hidden strength of a warrior and stamina that never perishes.  She, who has the wisdom to rule a nation and the forbearance to withstand a drought.  She, who has the gift to nourish those around her and the nerve to fight for that which is most important: her house, her kingdom, her people, her integrity, and her king.  There she is, standing in her queen attire that stylishly complements her value – and displays her uncompromising worth.  Her, the Queen – who has the obvious courage to trust, love and wait.  She, the one whose deeper beauty is revealed by her kind words, her uplifting thoughts and willingness to listen.  She, the one who was created to excel in a role filled with intentional purpose: a purpose that enriches those around her, gives importance to order, and arouses others to be better – to be more – to be radiant – to be strong – to be resilient.

Oh’ no, she is not weak, feeble or fragile.  She is not a slave to man, nor is she maid service.  She is not subservient in significance, oppressed by the culture, nor negated by nay-sayers.  She is not cheap, nor is she destitute.

Crown

She is the one whose influence can change a mind, alter a plan, transform a home, revise a decision, save a marriage, refresh a heart, restore a relationship, and turn the world upside down.  < Genesis 3:6>   She, as the Lord intended – is naturally gifted to make a difference.

Who is she, really?

She is giver, she is nurturer, she is helper, she is queen, and she is Wife.

Firm Decision to Do Something

I’ve never been a big celebrator of the New Year.  Not in the traditional sense anyway. The party before midnight was never one that held my attention.  Forcing myself to stay alert, pleasantly socializing without yawning and trying my best not to turn into “Grumpy” was typically my main party focus.  Yet, without delay, by ten o’clock p.m., I would begin to hear the words of the illusionists whispering in my ear, “You’re getting sleeeeeepy”.  All- nighters have never been my strong suite.  But no matter how the year ends, the very next morning is the beginning of anew.  Resolution resolve…..

When I originally began “TimeOut” I can honestly say my focus was not centered on how I could be of help.  Every month I would attend the gatherings with my two closest friends, hoping that by some stretch of the imagination, me getting time away would invigorate me to become more of what God was looking for in a woman, a helper, a wife.  I was sure having time away from the mundane would help me keep myself on track, regroup when necessary, and regain focus if needed.  We have all heard it said time and time again, that every couple needs time apart, right?  Believing that taking a life pause is a welcomed additive to any routine, a short breather is just what every couple needs in order for there to be a healthy balance.  This concept is true in theory.  But, what I soon discovered was; getting time away is nice.  But, by no means does getting away to relax on the beach help me to become a better swimmer.  To become a better swimmer, I need to use my time at the beach, building the skills it would take to enhance my swimming.

Group Swim

Just the same, if I am to become a true woman after God’s own heart, a committed companion to my king who pursued me, a sweet help to the man who holds the responsibility to lead, a wife who “does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life” < Proverbs 31:12>,   I will need to use my time away from my husband as a refresher in building the skills that will enhance my marriage.

Thought to Ponder

As we begin this year with intentional time away, let us firmly embrace the resolution to discover and live out God’s plan for us as Wife.

Next Wives Gathering – January 29, 2016. See you there!! ~ CharMaine

 

The Wrong Person…

“I have no way of knowing whether or not (you) married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I’ll be the first to admit that it is possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you married the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.” ~ Zig Ziglar, Courtship After Marriage

Thought to ponder

Did your husband marry the right person?

charmaine signature (2)

Next TO Gathering “Words Are Not Enough” ….

It is no surprise to call a customer service line and talk with someone who speaks a language different than your own. What begins as a simple discrepancy of an unknown over charge, can easily turn into forty minutes of ‘going nowhere’.

After nineteen years of marriage, there have been countless conversations between my husband and I that definitely resembled a conversation with customer service. Me thinking we’re talking about the overcharge, while my husband is thinking we’re talking about getting a new device. Before you know it, we have spent forty minutes ‘going nowhere’. The whole idea of interchanging thoughts, opinions or information through speech has brought many marriages to therapy, counseling and/or ruins.

Poor communication has also brought many wives to tears, while walking away feeling totally misunderstood, mistaken and misheard.  (Okay, maybe not many wives – maybe just me.)

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place” ~ GBS

 During our next “TimeOut” gathering, we will talk more about Words Are Not Enough.

 We will discuss ……

  • Speaking Correctly – <Ephesians 4:15>
  • Careful Listening – <Proverbs 18:13>
  • Clear Understanding – <Proverbs 24:3>

 Our aim: For us (the wife) to begin to purposefully attune our ears to the words of our own mouth.

 See you Friday – June 26th!

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The Prescribed Way …

Fourteen easels, each holding its very own pre stenciled canvas; coupled with a set of painting brushes, a water bowl and a makeshift paint palette that included all the needed colors lying evenly side by side.  The picture to be painted had been predetermined and the instructor stood daintily in the front of the room awaiting our attention. There was only one woman there who attended this type of party before, but the rest of us were readily listening for instructions.

We were instructed to paint one petal at a time. Beginning with the darker color at the base and gradually moving to the edge with a lighter hue. We were shown basic stroke types to help blend the colors that would cause the petals to seem soft. We were coached on where to place the white paint so that the flower would appear to be hit by the sun in just the right spot. We were even told of techniques that would help hide mistakes causing them to appear as an intentional part of the painting. (This was my favorite “how to” since I personally had quite a few slip-ups to hide.)

image

I had such a great time. Not one lady in the room held the title of artistes; yet, with the specific detailed assistance, we each sat at our easels with a small sense of possible. It was evident to us all, that if we listen to the tutor and follow the prescribed way, we could claim Leonardo da Vinci before this evening was over. Yet, right there in our mist, there was one. One who tired at the teachers directives, quickly moving ahead, utilizing just enough of the edicts to get the task done.

The instructor was there to help ensure our painting had the possibility of a masterpiece. Without a deliberate path, the evening would end with a room full of completed, kindergarten color-swatch posters. However, with clear guidance, our chances of feat were maximized. With given specifics, we were able to accomplish what would have otherwise been – precise doodle.

Thought to Ponder

We too, start out with the concept of readily listening to the Instructor. But to easily, we tire at the Teacher’s directives and quickly move ahead; missing out on much needed “need-to-knows” in our relationship with our husband.  Thankfully, God has provided each of us with a pre-stenciled canvas, a set of painting brushes, a water bowl and a well-made paint palette that includes all the colors we will ever need. All we must do to make our marriage a masterpiece….. is to “inquire of HIM about how to do it in the prescribed way”. <1Chronicles 15:13>